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Living alone can feel freeing and fulfilling. It can also stir up brief moments or long days of feeling alienated, sad, or afraid. It is good to know how to live well when spending days with just yourself. It is also good to know what to do when loneliness creeps in.

Some rewards of living alone include becoming more familiar with your desires and values, connecting more deeply with nature, and giving yourself the freedom to enjoy your favorite pastimes whenever you like.

Even with the benefits, you may experience bouts of loneliness when your mind craves social engagement but you cannot readily create this experience. The desire to connect with others is innate.

Then, when you are with others, if the conversation lacks intimate connection, you may feel alone. Feeling alone or empty relates to the quality of relationships, not the quantity. Many people who work remotely see people frequently online but feel detached.

No matter how many people are in your life, if you don’t regularly spend time with a friend talking and listening about concerns and hopes for life, if you don’t feel like people see you when they talk, if they aren’t curious about what you are sharing and they don’t freely answer your questions about their thoughts, you may feel just as empty and lonely as if no one was there.

How supported do your current connections make you feel? Is there someone you can call, text, or message when you need to make a connection? Can you deepen your connections by asking meaningful questions about choices and dreams, and then fully listen to how they respond? Acknowledge what they are sharing before you use the word “I.”

Make sure you have at least two quality relationships in your life so if one of them isn’t available, you might reach the other.

Tips for enjoying a solo life

The following tips will help you live a full solo life whether you fell into this life circumstance or you consciously chose to live independently. They are derived from Hannah Carmichael, the Director and Co-Founder of The Living Well Alone Project from her website:

1. Tackle the irritations. When you live alone, you generally have to rely on yourself for small repairs. Invest in a basic toolkit, household cleaners, and a little matching wall paint. Then use YouTube to help you fix things. There are thousands of videos on everything from how to build shelves to installing software. Also, there are cooking recipes for everything on the Internet. Hannah says, “You won’t get everything right the first time around, but even if you make a mistake, you’ll have learned something and will feel more confident next time.”
2. Explore your desires and dreams. Pay attention to what you really like and dislike—what are you doing or eating that is just habit? Is there anything you have said you always wanted to do but didn’t take the time? Can you plan for it now? Is there anything you want to say no to? Take the opportunity to design your life so it feels as enjoyable and fulfilling as you can.
3. Redecorate your space. Look around. Is there anything you want to change, move around, or replace? Can you clear away the clutter? What colors would brighten your rooms? What about buying fresh flowers for your main room? Hannah says, “Over time, designing a space that reflects your tastes can be a powerful way to discover or rediscover your identity. Turn your home into a sanctuary that you enjoy, and where you feel safe and relaxed.”
4. Plan for your down times. The moments when loneliness creep in are different for everyone but typical of the human experience. Notice when this is likely to happen to you—at night, on the weekend, when spending time with people who have a healthy relationship with a partner? Make a list of things that will help you shift your emotions to gratitude or laughter. It could be calling a friend, making a gratitude list, watching a laugh-out-loud TV show, or sitting under the stars with your favorite cup of tea.
5. Discover your favorites. What do you love doing where time slips by without you knowing it—writing, drawing, reading, doing puzzles, gardening, walking in nature? Or maybe there is something you can do with others, such as joining a Meetup group to walk, talk, or share a meal. TIndulging in healthy pleasures will help you feel in control as well as useful.
6. Practice self-care. Self-care includes physical, emotional, financial, and well-being needs. Hannah says to start with the basics: “...eating healthily, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.” Take care of your financial stability by paying off your debts as soon as you can. Discover what gives you a sense of well-being from nature or your spirituality. ?Use this checklist to help you plan. Also, make sure the essentials in the house for times you feel sick. Ask someone to check on you if feel unwell and don't hesitate to reach out to your doctor or other care provider. There are apps that can detect your falls or extremes in heart rates.
7. Consider a pet. Pets provide a range of health benefits. Besides being good company, petting an animal can increase your serotonin which wards off depression and anxiety. Be diligent in choosing a pet that is friendly and doesn’t require more maintenance than you are able to provide.

Don't be afraid to live alone. Your days can be fulfilling and fun.

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